I wish....but I would be stunned
Apr. 28th, 2010 10:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lilkellygSo, A, I swear I see a twinkle in his eye and sometimes he winks at me. What does it mean when a man subtly winks at you while talking, winks when your minds meet on a topic?
I am not sure what is going on, I don’t want to talk about it, it is a subtle thing, I feel almost like I don’t want to break the spell I’m enjoying. I fully don’t expect it to go anywhere. Fully.
But I confess I want him to like me. It has been a long time since I’ve wanted that. The T’s the PM’s, Y’s they liked me and so I investigated…
But in this case (biting my fingernails) I feel like a 14 year old girl crushing on the ‘impossible’ guy in the hall.
When I mentioned how I was flattered that he complimented me JM got VERY jealous. I can’t understand what is flickering at the edge of things because he is so not my type. He’s always VERY proper, extremely professional.
So today when I said, “Hold on, I want to give you what you want” he said in response “hmmm, well…that is a very open ended statement”…
He makes me shy, so I said nothing, no witticism back which I am known for. It is the shyness that he elicits in me that excites me. Lately I notice him looking away from me when before he was so open, it seems as if he doesn’t want to look interested….after all we are both single.
Or maybe he doesn’t like me anymore, maybe I said something. I heard him talking with my female coworker this morning in a way in which I was stunned, he’s not so ‘street’ with me he acts very formal.
JM says he’s hot for me. I only know this because I told JM I had a dream about him, a romantic one where we were holding hands and he came back with that information and said only “believe me he is and he’s not he only one.
Now I’m afraid I’ve burned bridges, I’m ashamed of the whole PM fiasco…really WTF was I thinking, sure he was an ex-employee at the time, but I should have calculated he could show up again, PM! Damn I can sure let my hormones get the best of me, in that case it was that he was so intense…and then when he manhandled me so exquisitely that first time….sigh…of course he was nuts and it turned out he was a one trick pony. There is little more irritating than a partner that keeps trying to push the same button.
So, A…what do I make of you dear?
I am not sure what is going on, I don’t want to talk about it, it is a subtle thing, I feel almost like I don’t want to break the spell I’m enjoying. I fully don’t expect it to go anywhere. Fully.
But I confess I want him to like me. It has been a long time since I’ve wanted that. The T’s the PM’s, Y’s they liked me and so I investigated…
But in this case (biting my fingernails) I feel like a 14 year old girl crushing on the ‘impossible’ guy in the hall.
When I mentioned how I was flattered that he complimented me JM got VERY jealous. I can’t understand what is flickering at the edge of things because he is so not my type. He’s always VERY proper, extremely professional.
So today when I said, “Hold on, I want to give you what you want” he said in response “hmmm, well…that is a very open ended statement”…
He makes me shy, so I said nothing, no witticism back which I am known for. It is the shyness that he elicits in me that excites me. Lately I notice him looking away from me when before he was so open, it seems as if he doesn’t want to look interested….after all we are both single.
Or maybe he doesn’t like me anymore, maybe I said something. I heard him talking with my female coworker this morning in a way in which I was stunned, he’s not so ‘street’ with me he acts very formal.
JM says he’s hot for me. I only know this because I told JM I had a dream about him, a romantic one where we were holding hands and he came back with that information and said only “believe me he is and he’s not he only one.
Now I’m afraid I’ve burned bridges, I’m ashamed of the whole PM fiasco…really WTF was I thinking, sure he was an ex-employee at the time, but I should have calculated he could show up again, PM! Damn I can sure let my hormones get the best of me, in that case it was that he was so intense…and then when he manhandled me so exquisitely that first time….sigh…of course he was nuts and it turned out he was a one trick pony. There is little more irritating than a partner that keeps trying to push the same button.
So, A…what do I make of you dear?
